Here is blog that I just found,due to the blogger being so kind as post a supportive comment on my last exhausted post:

http://desperatefaith.blogspot.com

When is Moshiach coming?

And do we have to make this ideal version of the world ourselves?

How are we going to better the world?

I just spent a few hours at the house of an amazingly (it would seem by their property) well of family. Are they happier than me? Are they less insecure? Do I want to be like them? I think now. But it’s fun while it lasted.