Posts Tagged ‘parenting’
Feeling like toothpaste…
I feel like a toothpaste tube–squeezed to the bottom–squeezed thin with nothing left but a squeak to communicate my needs.
I am feeling helpless. Okay, so I am being overdramatic maybe–but I am having issues trying to find a good situation to have this baby–and it’s really getting on my nerves!
Okay, so I am calling around, trying to find a doctor or situation that I am comfortable with. Also I am trying to go to work. All my kids have cold/flu with varying degrees of fever, cough or runny nose. Well, thank goodness the fever is gone in the kid with one. That was very nerve-wracking. I hate fevers! They make me very nervous like something bad would maybe happen. My home is a mess. Not the very very worst it’s every been, but not presentable that I would open the door to someone I don’t know and still be proud of myself. All my papers seem to be in a huge mess, I think we got a ticket for not renewing the registration on one of our cars, and… oh who knows what else.
In any case, I am very unhappy–and at the same time there is this little space right inside of me that say: Maybe we can make it through and be all right. If I just trust in Hash-m and do my best. On the other hand, I really pray that I don’t do too much procrastinating on the bills to pay and stuff to straighten out…or what would be even worse would be to keep shouting at the three little ones as I did earlier after I had picked them up from school…tossing out automatic senseless threats and phrases, “I am going to send you to your room” “stop it” “you’re going to get in big trouble” “you’re going to get a time out” “please stop, I can’t handle the stress” “I really need you to be helpful” and “go to your room”.
I didn’t follow up on anything! Aaaaaah Lately I’ve been doing really much better on being consistent; I’ve been asking, then giving a warning with clear firm consequence, then following through on the time-out or taking away the toy they are fighting over.
But today I am like a yapping cat (if you can imagine what that feels).
Okay, I am feeling better. I will go read bedtime story to the ones who are awake and consider myself decompressed for the evening. Maybe I’ll do some cleaning up after I get them to sleep.
Thanks anyone who sympathized with or even if you read through this messy head-clearing post!!!
