FemaleJewishBlogger on January 31st, 2010
I feel taken advantage of. In general. In my life.
Everyone around me. I don’t have any money. I am in debt. My husband is injured and depressed. My children are okay, but not ding well at their school because they aren’t doing their homework because I am not giving the tiem and space to do it, and they are all in one stupid room. One room for four kids. I want to move—to w_______, or somewhere near there: s________?
Maybe.
I want—I pray that this baby be born healthy.
Love,
FJB
FemaleJewishBlogger on September 5th, 2009
Well, after rereading my last post, it sounds as if G-d wants us to suffer when we “don’t obey.” That’s not what I meant at all. Just that, there are some things that we are meant to do, and the energy that is given to us to do them is given in a way that it is meant to be used for that specific plan. If I use it otherwise, the energy hurts me, instead of helping. Sort of like, a river is easy to swim in, when I am going with the flow—if I begin swimming upstream it becomes a struggle, of lesser or greater degree, depending on how strong the flow is downstream.
I still haven’t decided to what extent I think we are involved in deciding the direction of these plans.
But I am definitely sure, that to go against the flow, causes pain to me, and also many times to those close to me.
How to feel which way the flow is going from day to day?
FemaleJewishBlogger on August 17th, 2009
I think G-d is moving us in directions that we want to go.
I think that if I or someone else tries to connect with G-d as if She can be expected to always seem the same, then we are underestimating G-d.
I don’t have an idea of how G-d is really supposed to be. If I say, “you should seem like this, or how I imagine G-d to be holy,” isn’t that missing the point?
How can I know how G-d is going to seem this time I see Her?
Do I know what my friends will be like when I go to meet them for coffee or they are picking up for carpool one morning? Do I know what clothes they are going to wear or expression they will have on their faces? Do I know their mood? Can I expect a particular tone of voice? Or am I most likely to meet a true self in my friend if I don’t expect, but just wait and see?
