FemaleJewishBlogger on January 31st, 2010
I feel taken advantage of. In general. In my life.
Everyone around me. I don’t have any money. I am in debt. My husband is injured and depressed. My children are okay, but not ding well at their school because they aren’t doing their homework because I am not giving the tiem and space to do it, and they are all in one stupid room. One room for four kids. I want to move—to w_______, or somewhere near there: s________?
Maybe.
I want—I pray that this baby be born healthy.
Love,
FJB
FemaleJewishBlogger on September 5th, 2009
Well, after rereading my last post, it sounds as if G-d wants us to suffer when we “don’t obey.” That’s not what I meant at all. Just that, there are some things that we are meant to do, and the energy that is given to us to do them is given in a way that it is meant to be used for that specific plan. If I use it otherwise, the energy hurts me, instead of helping. Sort of like, a river is easy to swim in, when I am going with the flow—if I begin swimming upstream it becomes a struggle, of lesser or greater degree, depending on how strong the flow is downstream.
I still haven’t decided to what extent I think we are involved in deciding the direction of these plans.
But I am definitely sure, that to go against the flow, causes pain to me, and also many times to those close to me.
How to feel which way the flow is going from day to day?
FemaleJewishBlogger on September 2nd, 2009
G-d trusts us so much. It’s not a question of does G-d trust us. It’s 100%. I think that’s why we have trouble. We are just going along and thinking that G-d is watching over us, judging us and so on: but G-d trusts us! We have been given everything, and it is our will to survive and do good. Free choice, yah here it comes!
From an idea that G-d wants us to put into action, to a baby, every step of the way, we are given responsibility. Now, that doesn’t mean we are operating in a vacuum. Maybe there are other people put on this Earth to work on the same thing. But when it comes to types of bosses, G-d is definitely the ‘hand it over and do it your own way’ kind of boss. and a ‘you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, but then you’re going to suffer’ too. If I don’t do what G-d wants then G-d has all this energy related to this one given thing that is meant to go into it. And where does it go then? Into suffering.
Thank you G-d for trusting me with this energy.
