So, after not having posted in a while, there are many thoughts bouncing around in my head:
1. A blog is sort of like the ultimate diary that you wished someone would read and give you feedback on, but it always seemed too personal to show your loved ones
2. I have been resolving the male/female role issue by taking the responsibility for the traditional female role–and found that I didn’t like it when my husband was taking over for me on the days I got too tired to make dinner. That’s wierd. Not that his helping was unwelcome–but I didn’t like him feeling the need to “make-up” for my laziness.
I guess there is a big difference from me doing all I can, and then designating “tasks” for those in the family to do their share in housework, and me just getting lazy sometimes and letting other people do things–in that case, if I get mad about someone in the family not doing something, I am in the wrong because I have not done all of my share. Good. Glad to figure that one out.
3. My hubby and my communication has gotten much better due to our acceptance of our Male/Female roles. I’d like to talk to our Rabbi about this issue for more clarity, since it seems to be working out so well. By the way, My hubby refers to him as “our Rabbi” now, so that is a big step in us both being on the same page in our religious viewpoint on our little family.

I was having such epiphanies in the car this morning on the way to work. Of course I’ve forgotten them all now. The more I try to “be observant” the more satisfying it is–but at the same time I don’t want to go too far so that I feel like I’ve failed if I decrease the mitzvot I am doing.

I emailed the askmoses.com website to ask about covering my hair, since I’m not married officially by Halacha, and they replied that if I was already donig it I should continue…but since I had already stopped by the time I emailed–I decided not to.

Actually, I am feeling more and more comfortable with my/our level of observance in our home.

I spend a lot of our free time with kids in Jewish educational type activities (i.e. if we watch a movie, it might be on the topic–if we read a storybook, it is often a Jewish kids book, etc).
I say brachas often, and we celebrate the Sabbath, although not doing everything correctly, we do have dinner/candle lighting/kiddush etc and try to spend Saturdays in family activity including going to Shul, visiting the Rabbi’s house, etc…

That’s my update for now. Till next time…

I am going to take a moment for self-review and encouragement. I need to put things a little in perspective since, being the perfectionist that I am, I need to keep my life and my actions in perspective.
To myself:
For the events of the last few years, I am doing pretty well. In the past seven years (since 1999), I have:

1. graduated from a four-year Institute, receiving a BA equivalent in a foreign language, in a foreign country
2. moved to Russia and back TWO times (I am talking full out moving, not visiting); so that makes 4 international moves–3 of which I was pregnant for
3. I have gotten married (including meeting my future spouse-courtship, etc)
4. we have gone through three pregnancies, three births (ranging from medical c-section to vbac, to unassisted home birth–that last wasn’t officially planned!)
5. have been baptised in the Russian Orthodox church, then am currently in the process of returning to my birthright: Judaism
6. have lived in countless different living-spaces from apartment to garage to other places I don’t feel like sharing at the moment;
7. been a stay-at-home-mom with three toddlers, and now am working full time.

During this time I have been blonde twice, reddish-haired many times, and natural dark-brown a couple.
My children have changed childcare and schools almost every 3-6 months.

Okay? Now, where am I?

I am still married, living in a stable situation (G-d willing that such a situation should continue), returning to Judaism with my three children (G-d willing, we are all in good health), working, praying, looking for the newest way forward.

I was thinking of putting a mezuzah on our front doorway.
What do you think of that?